moms, baggage and wine

This weekend was the first time that my daughter ever spent the night over her father's house. Strange I know. She was very nervous, but excited. She packed up her pink suitcase herself with pajamas, clothes, a dress up dress, 3 leotards, mighty beans, a nightlight, a lamp, a bag of popcorn, a balloon flower and an extra pair of shoes~ she is not a light packer. After I dropped her off, I ended up crying on the way home. It is so strange being without her. They say that you feel like your heart is walking around outside your body, I liken it to walking around naked. It just feels so weird without her with me. She has been my shadow for 6 years now. The other day we were walking up to her school and she did not want to hold my hand. I had no idea that this stuff would happen so soon. I guess I was also hoping that I would have moved along myself by now and maybe the blow would be softened, but I haven't, I have just focused on being a mom and it hit hard. So what is a lonely momma to do on a Saturday night? I recommend a glass of wine, piece of cake and a great movie.