Things I Never Thought I Would Hear Myself Say

If I hear you say "pee" one more time, you are in trouble.
Stop flipping over the couch.
Every time you leave a sock on the floor, you are paying me a quarter.
Because I said so.
No, I do not want to see how loud you can fart.
Come here and let me smell you- I guess you can skip your bath tonight.
Are you buckled in?
Did you do your homework?
Do I look like "google.com"?
That girl drew a picture of a what???
No, you cannot turn on the TV.
Sorry, but you are just going to have to hold it. 
Alright, you can sleep in my bed- just this once.
Did you brush your teeth?  Really?
That is sure to give you diarrhea.
I guess you can have a brownie for breakfast, as long as you have milk with it.
You'll eat it and you'll like it. 
Ok then, I am leaving without you.