Friday, May 13, 2011

grief

Grief.  It is such a funny word. 










Good grief!  What an oxymoron that is!

The kids are giving me grief !  Getting closer...

I think that it even sounds the way it makes me feel.  Grief.
It is strange emotion.  One that I have never really felt before now.
It is exhausting trying to avoid feeling it.  And then it catches you, and you end up crying in front of 20 teenagers over an episode of MTV's Exiled show.  "Quick, someone give her a hug", I hear them whispering.  One or two cry along with me.  They know what I am going through and try their best to keep me laughing, God bless them.  
That is why that darn grief is such a tricky feeling.  One minute you are laughing and dancing the "dougie", and the next minute your heart feels like it will bust and you need a tissue.  
I wonder how long it takes to get through grief?  People who come up and talk to me, well meaning people, tell me that you never really get through it.  That scares me more than anything.  I don't want to be bursting into tears in front of people for the rest of my life.  It is one thing to sit and have a sad moment, but for it to just sneak attack you whenever it wants to like this, is pretty awful. 

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

You will get through it and it will be replaced by all those happy moments you shared. We were all blessed for so many years with a wonderful person in our life. Now he is watching us and thinking what is everyone sitting around for? Let's go!

PearlsGirl said...

My, oh my. You brought back the memories of my grief when I lost my Mother suddenly. It does seem to go on and on and on, and it rears its ugly head at the most inopportune moments. But you will come out on the other end of this tunnel, and there is no set time line. Six years later, I still have my moments, but they are less and less and not nearly as painful, just a sad memory. One foot in front of the other. That's the only way. PearlsGirl

Melissa said...

I don't know what you're grieving (I'm here from the RDC), but I am so sorry for your loss. Btw, excellent post!

Amanda said...

Same here, I'm not sure whom you are grieving for but I must say it does get better. You actually get peeved when people still expect you to burst into tears 10 years later.

jen said...

I'm sorry for whatever loss you've suffered. Grief takes as long as it takes- different for every person depending. I myself have felt intense grief, writing about it helps; so keep on writing.
Here from the Red Dress Club...

Carina said...

Grieving is a difficult process. It doesn't always make sense. More often than not, it doesn't make sense at all.

I'm sorry for your pain. The only comfort I can offer is that it won't last forever. You won't burst randomly into tears in front of teenagers forever, but it will take time. Just remember to take the time YOU need. Take care of yourself.

Dana @ WhatWereWeThinking? said...

You don't get over it, but you do get through it. I cry less & less about my friend, Jessica. The happy memories are what come to mind first when I think of her.

I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now.

mom2kiddos said...

Grief will pass, given time. I feel that when someone is faced with a loss, it's only natural to grieve over it. Only then will you be able to overcome that loss.

Carri said...

You don't get OVER it, you only get through it. It will fade but manage to stay in the background. I'm sorry for your loss.

Bees With Honey said...

I agree with Carri. I don't think really ever get over it but you manage to live with it and get through the tough times. *Hugs* to you. I'm new about the loss in your life. Regardless, surround yourself with friends and the people who matter and they will help you along. Your readers can too!

I'm a fellow teacher:) Nice to meet you.

ReadyOrNot said...

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. Losing my dad has been one of the hardest things I have had to go through in my life so far.

Writerly Wanna Be said...

I lost my mom, and this is just how it happens to me. Something grabs me, something I would never expect, and here come the tears. I am a teacher too, a younger bunch, but I do love how are "kids" can sense our pain and want to try and help us through.

Sarah said...

Grief is really hard. I think that we tend to try to rush through it because it's not fun... and it really want the pain to be over. But I've found when I give myself space to just feel my way through it two things happen... it hurts less much sooner than I thought it would AND there's a beauty to those moments of stillness.
That being said, I TOTALLY understand not wanting to burst into tears in front of other people. NOT FUN.
Hang in there... the hurting parts diminish and the happy memories outweigh them eventually.

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